merig00: (USA)
[personal profile] merig00
Q: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans, and Southerners?

A: Pose the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges.

You are carrying a Glock 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?


Democrat Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.



Republican Answer:

BANG!



Southerner's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! click....(sounds of reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! click.

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips??

via [livejournal.com profile] abcdefgh

Date: 2009-09-23 12:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] reality-hammer.livejournal.com
It's always a good idea to empty the clip...you never know when you'll need a fresh one!

Date: 2009-09-23 01:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] merig00.livejournal.com
spray'n'pray baby, spray'n'pray

Date: 2009-09-23 04:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] relyef.livejournal.com
Это что за Глок с 9-ю зарядным магазином?

Date: 2009-09-23 04:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] merig00.livejournal.com
А он раньше по банкам немного пострелял =))

Date: 2009-09-23 10:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] reytsman.livejournal.com
Упс. Не он. Там было сказано что 40 S&W значит компактный, видимо вот этот
http://www.glock.com/english/glock27_tech.htm

Date: 2009-09-23 04:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] relyef.livejournal.com
Я совсем не о том. А о том, что какой южанин будет носить Глок с low-capacity magazine?

Date: 2009-09-23 04:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] merig00.livejournal.com
ну зачем демократа заморочивать дополнительными мыслями об объеме магазина?

Date: 2009-09-23 06:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] reytsman.livejournal.com
Тот который его постоянно с собой таскает. ;)

У нас у паренька на работе именно такой и был. Нужно сказать что довольно отвратительная штука, как его держать с его коротким магазином не очень понятно и стрелять из него не очень, зато скрытно на себе таскать, вполне даже ничего.

Date: 2009-09-23 11:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrayan.livejournal.com
Работы больно много. А то был бы вентилятор №2

Date: 2009-09-23 11:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] merig00.livejournal.com
Это старая хорошая американская шуточка, ну уж если тебе нужен вентилятор... вот тебе уже готовый http://arbat.livejournal.com/343221.html

Date: 2009-09-23 11:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrayan.livejournal.com
Не, этот не годится. Не то. :\ Ну ладно, не то так не то. Ушла работать.

Date: 2009-09-23 08:06 pm (UTC)

Date: 2009-09-24 02:52 pm (UTC)

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