merig00 | MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU

Hello, and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.

Please select from the following options menu:

*If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

*If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you

*If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6 .

*If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call .

*If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship .

*If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press .

*If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway .

*If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696 .

*If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep . Please wait for the beep ..

*If you have short-term memory loss, press 9 . If you have short-term memory loss, press 9 . If you have short-term memory loss, press 9

*If you have low self-esteem, please hang up, our operators are too busy to talk with you

*If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry . You won't be crazy forever .

*If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.