The King Is Naked!

The great Batton Lash weighs in on our new friend Joe the Plumber, who had no idea a mere 10 days ago that he'd ever plumb the depths of the media's shamelessness:



thnx arbat  for the link

О пацифизме.

Стас был майором РВСН. Ну, так получилось. То есть где-то средь пажитей и нежитей Отчизны трепетно ховались от недругов ракетные войска стратегического назначения. А в недрах этих РВСН где-то сидел на дежурстве майор. В железобетонном бункере. Это и был Стас.

Стас сидел под землёй и яростно бдил. Сверху майора были куцые берёзки, очень минусовая температура и закрытая зона, в которой ретивая охрана сначала стреляла в гостей, а уж потом шла проверять у них документы...

Под боком у Стаса были ого-го сколько килотонн и Та Самая Красная Кнопка. А ещё у Стаса была жена. Не на дежурстве, конечно, а дома.

Так вот. Каждый раз вернувшись с дежурства, снявши с себя обязанности командира и откушамши, Стас с большим достоинством укладывался на жену и приступал к делу гражданского единения. Заканчивалось всё, понятное дело, мощным консенсусом. Потом Стас вбрасывал в себя сто грамм, закуривал и от полноты чувств начинал улыбаться. В такие минуты он любил мир, а мир любил его.

- Ты чего улыбаешься, Стасик? - ласково мурлыкала из-под одеяла довольная консенсусом супруга.
- Make love, no war! - отвечал образованный Стас, подумывая между затяжками, что если и есть на этой планете настоящие пацифисты, то это, конечно, женщины...

Как-то он эту мысль озвучил жене. Та надолго задумалась, а потом спросила:
- Гм, а разве не бывает мужчин-пацифистов?

Майор представил на месте своей жены мужика и чуть не подавился окурком:
- Тьфу, млять. Нет, милая, это не пацифисты.
- А кто же они тогда?
- Пидорасы, солнышко. Пидорасы!..


© u_96  - очень кстати рекоммендую кто еще не читает.

Taxation wisdom

Let's put tax cuts in terms everyone can understand. Suppose that every day, ten men go out for dinner. The bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:

* The first four men (the poorest) would pay
nothing.
* The fifth would pay $1.
* The sixth would pay $3.
* The seventh $7.
* The eighth $12.
* The ninth $18.
* The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that's what they decided to do. The ten men ate dinner in the restaurant every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve.

"Since you are all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily meal by $20."

So, now dinner for the ten only cost $80. The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes.

So, the first four men were unaffected. They would still eat for free. But what about the other six, the paying customers? How could they divvy up the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair share'?

The six men realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man
would each end up being 'PAID' to eat their meal. So, the restaurant owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.

And so:

* The fifth man, like the first four, now paid
nothing (100% savings).
* The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33% savings).
* The seventh now paid $5 instead of $7 (28% savings).
* The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
* The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
* The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to eat for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.

"I only got a dollar out of the $20," declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man "but he got $10!"

"Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man. "I only saved a dollar, too. It's unfair that he got ten times more than me!"

"That's true!!" shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get $10 back when I got only $2? The wealthy get all the breaks!"


"Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison. "We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!"

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

The next night the tenth man didn't show up for dinner, so the nine sat down and ate without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up at the table anymore.

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