FOOD LINGO: HOMEMADE

You see it on packages in the supermarket: homemade flavor. Folks, take my word for it, a food company operating out of a ninety-acre processing plant is incapable of producing anything homemade. I don't care if the COE is living in the basement, wearing an apron, and cooking on a hot plate. It's not gonna happen.

Homemade is a myth. You want to know some things that are homemade? Crystal Meth. Crack Cocaine. A pipe bomb full of nails. Now we're talkin' homemade. If you need furher information, check the notes of Timothy McVeigh. Old Tim knew how to cook up little homemade goodies...

© George Carlin